6 Ways To Start Conversations About Faith
This is a guest post written by my friend, Jordan Penley. Jordan is one of the best people I know at having intentional conversations about faith and the Gospel. You can connect with Jordan at JordanPenley.com.
Typically, when followers of Jesus hear Christ's call to "proclaim the Gospel" (Mark 16:15) and "make disciples" (Matthew 28:19) they have a genuine, heartfelt desire to participate in the Great Commission but they simply don't know how.
Over the past 10 years, through the encouragement and training from dozens of gifted women and men, I've been able to get into thousands of spiritual conversations. Here are a few simple ways I start conversations about Jesus.
1. Pray
You may think I'm only saying to start with prayer because I'm "suppose to". But this really is the most important step to get into Gospel conversations. A former mentor during my time working with a college campus ministry (Cru) used to tell our staff team all the time; "Don't talk to your friends about Jesus unless you've talked to Jesus about your friends first."
The key to having Gospel conversations is to ask God for opportunities. He is sovereign. He is in control. He, and he alone, can create an opportunity for us to share.
Practical Application: What are practical steps you can take to get into a routine of faithfully praying for opportunities to start Gospel conversations?
2. One simple question
I would estimate 80% of my Gospel conversations are initiated simply by asking "Do you have a spiritual background?" It may be after someone asks "Where do you work?" and I tell them "I work at a church in downtown Raleigh. By the way, do you have a spiritual background?"
Or someone may ask "What did you do this weekend?" and I will respond something like "I watched NC State get beat in football on Saturday and then went to church on Sunday. By the way, do you have a spiritual background?" This may seem too simple but it has led to some amazing conversations and multiple meetings talking about Jesus and the Gospel.
Practical Application: Who is someone you can ask today "do you have a spiritual background?"
3. A crucial word, "sometime"
From time to time, I ask the question above and get a short response like "I went to church when I was young but left the church behind in 8th grade." Now, there may be the bandwidth to unpack that some more but if the person is heading to another obligation I will say "Man, sometime, I would love to hear more about that."
I've never had any say "No thank you." Then about a week later I will text the person and ask them to get a beer or coffee and reinitiate the conversation.
Practical Application: Who is someone that you have had a brief spiritual conversation with that you'd like to go deeper with? I challenge you to text that person "I'd love to hear more about _______ you mentioned a few days/weeks ago sometime soon." Trust God with their response and follow up soon!
4. Tattoos and jewelry
A simple way to initiate a spiritual conversation for me is noticing individuals wearing religious jewelry. When I see a cross tattoo (which is really, really often if you start looking, ha!) or necklace, I will ask "Does that tattoo/cross have any spiritual significance to you?"
You'd be surprised how many times this has lead to deep, robust conversations. Once the convo winds down I always say "Sometime, I'd love to hear more." (tip three)
Practical Application: Look for folks wearing religious jewelry or with spiritually influenced tattoos. Take a risk and ask them "Does that tattoo/cross have any spiritual significance to you?"
5. Become an oft questioner
One straightforward way I get into Gospel conversations is by consistently asking deep, thoughtful questions. Two resources I love are the 99 Wondering Questions (free) by Doug Pollock and The Complete Book of Questions (~$10).
Both of these resources have both secular questions (e.g. what made you pursue a career in _______?) and spiritual questions (e.g. what do you find the most difficult pill to swallow concerning belief in God?).
Practical Application: Pick one question per day this week and ask that question to a friend or coworker each day.
6. They initiate, we respond
Everyone has been there. You're in the line to get a turkey at Thanksgiving and your uncle says “All world religions are really the same, just love people.” Or, “The Bible was written by men so who can really trust it?”, or “It’s not rational to believe in God, there’s no proof.” At this moment, I typically panic and freeze up. Usually, if we don't respond within 5-10 seconds the conversation ends and we move on to the score of the football game. However, I've learned a few response questions that have been extremely helpful with a friend says something like this. I will respond:
"What do you mean by that?”
“How did you come to that conclusion?”
“Would you explain that some more?”
In my experience, this continues the conversation. It also adds understanding to how they arrived at that conclusion and provides an opportunity for them to explain more. I've had a great response to these questions because we are simply letting people explain themselves further which, typically, people enjoy doing. Then I always end with "Sometime, I'd love to hear more of your story." (tip three) which provides an opportunity for another conversation.
Practical Application: Memorize one of these questions so that you are prepared to respond the next time someone says something that catches you off guard.
Having faith conversations isn't as hard as we make it out to be
Using these six tips will definitely get you in more Gospel conversations. Don't feel like you need to know the answer to every objection. Just like learning a new language or learning to play an instrument it takes time to grow. Begin by simply increasing the number of conversations you're getting in.
Praying for you as you labor to make the King known!
Next Steps
Had conversations and want to grow more? I recommend picking up Honest Evangelism by Rico Tice or Tactics by Greg Koukl for more direction!