4 Things Pastoring Has Taught Me About Leadership
Since New City Church (where I lead) began in 2017, I've learned a lot about both pastoring and leadership.
Don't tell anyone, but as New City grows, each year it becomes the largest organization I have ever lead. This means I've had to learn a lot of things on the fly.
Because of that, pastoring has taught me some lessons about leadership that I've had to learn the hard way. I've certainly made some poor mistakes as a leader, but these lessons have helped me get better.
Here are four things pastoring has taught me about leadership.
1. Explain the why behind decisions and most people will be ok
Whether it is church staff and church members or organizational leadership and their employees, leadership can often be surprised at the push back or lack of excitement over new decisions.
After all, you've thought about and planned for how this new directive is going to make things better, so why isn't everyone that excited?
It's because while you may have spent weeks or months thinking through and getting comfortable with the idea, everyone else is hearing about it for the first time. Just like you needed time to think about and work through this new plan, so does everyone else.
Whenever you try something new, people hearing about it for the first time need time to get their minds (and hearts) around it. If our initial reaction to any pushback is to become upset that others can't see why this is a good thing, the problem isn't on other people, it's on us.
People need time to acclimate to new changes, and the bigger the change the more time people need. In addition to that, people also need more than a 10-second explanation as to why the decision has been made.
In my experience, even if everyone isn't excited by the change, hearing and understanding why it was made shows people it was thought through and considerate of the potential ramifications. Even if someone disagrees, knowing that leadership has taken a good amount of time and effort in making this decision helps people trust their leaders and go along with it.
Often, leadership has taken a lot of time and consideration thinking about the change, but people don't know that unless you take time not just explaining what you are going to do but also why you are going to do it.
2. People often just want to be heard
Some of the biggest pushback I have experienced while leading at New City has been from people who aren't trying to be negative, they simply want to be heard.
This is especially true when changes are made. Often the issue is not with the change itself, but with some negative or difficult past experience that this change is reminding someone of from their past.
It is easy to explain away someone's issue with a decision as "they just don't want to get on board with what we are trying to do" and ignore them when that isn't the case at all. Many times, people may think they are upset with something that is going on when they really need someone to simply hear them out.
There have been multiple occasions where I have met with people who weren't happy about a decision that was made or something that was happening at New City. After hearing them out their tone and demeanor improved before I said anything about the concern they wanted to meet about.
People often just want someone to hear them out and know that they are cared about. Even if they still wish a different decision was made, thanking them for expressing their concern and letting them know you hear them is all that is needed for them to jump right back on board.
3. Clarity is key, even when it is hard
Because none of us want to disappoint and upset people, it can be really easy to soften up or be vague about things we know someone doesn't want to hear.
In order to avoid uncomfortable situations, we try and kick the issue further down the road to deal with at another time. In reality, it makes the situation worse for everyone.
For example, the church where I pastor has certain theological positions (as every church does). Sometimes people aren't a fan of one or some of our beliefs and they want to meet and talk about. In that moment, I have to decide whether to lovingly explain our positions and why they are what they are even if the person I am meeting with doesn't like them, or I can say things like "but things could change in the future" when I know full and well they will not.
People like and respect clear answers, even if they disagree. We don't do anyone any favors when we are not honest about things they might not like.
While I have left some of those conversations about theological beliefs with someone who still disagreed with what we teach and believe, people have always been grateful to have clarity on whether or not our church is a good fit for them.
4. Leadership is not about always knowing what to do, but how you lead in the midst of uncertainty
All leaders face situations where decisions must be made, but we don't know what should be done. How should do you lead when you don't know what to do?
It is perfectly ok to be honest in those situations. In fact, I believe that helps people trust you more as you admit that you to do not know everything. What's important, however, is that you do make a decision and follow it through as best you can.
People have no problem following leaders who do not know everything, but all of us have a problem following leaders who are weak. In other words, we want to follow people who are decisive and moving-forward. We don't want to follow leaders who can't make a decision or are always publicly second-guessing what they are doing.
There is nothing wrong with letting people know "that given all the factors, 'decision X' is what we are going with. We could be wrong on this, but we are moving forward and seeing where it takes us."
No one gets it right all the time, but people need clarity (see point #3) on where we are going. If you can provide that even in uncertain times, people will want to follow you even more.
Want more ministry-related leadership tips and advice?
For my friends who lead in pastoral ministry and/or on church staff, check out the Practical Church Planting podcast for more practical tips, advice, and encouragement on planting and growing healthy churches.