Pastoral Reflections: On holding back opinions

2/10/22

One of the challenges of being a pastor is having to try and hold back from sharing your opinions publicly on many things. Before I explain let me be clear, this is not a “woe is me, being a pastor is hard” complaint. There are difficult things about every job and vocation, this is simply one of the difficulties of being a ministry leader.

As human beings, pastors have opinions on everything just like everyone else. From politics, to COVID response, to various things happening in our community and country that impact us. We too have thoughts on how we want things to be. However, sharing our views, even if done respectfully, can lead people to feel alienated from us if they disagree. And I totally get it, if someone has a strong conviction in the opposite direction, it can lead to a lack of trust or even simply disappointment that my pastor fundamentally disagrees with me on something.

So in light of not wanting to alienate anyone, a pastor or ministry leader (if they are wise) has to be careful about what they say and to whom they say it. And I’m not just talking about posting online. In any place where opinions on a certain topic can be divisive, it can be challenging to be really careful not to say too much about what you personally think.

Especially considering many people share with us their opinions, and for some reason (perhaps because I try not to vocally share mine on certain topics) assume that I definitely agree with their view. So it’s important to have an outlet, ideally your spouse but also a close relationship with someone outside your congregation, who you can really be honest with about your opinions and frustrations with whatever concerns you have at the moment.

I am not speaking here of speaking out on moral issues or topics that should be publicly addressed. There are certainly times when that is necessary. But on the things where people can really love Jesus and still disagree. It can be hard not to slip up and say how you think certain things should be handled only to see the faces of people who clearly don’t hold your position convey some disappointment.

But this challenge can also be a blessing. Most of the time, sharing less and listening more is the most loving thing to do anyway. This leads to a good thought experiment; why do we so desire to make sure our opinions are heard? Especially on things we have no control over?

So here’s a good challenge, can I choose to deliberately listen more and talk less in one of the next group conversations I find myself in and see how it goes and feels? I invite you to join me in that challenge and see how God might use it to grow us.